| (fade out) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2007|05:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
My heart has been stab many times for this last few mouths.
i found a boy who i thought was the one for me... the one i could
grow old with. and out of no where i got fucked over... he could of
just told me that the relationship we had was going no where and he
wasn't happy. but no folks i got cheated on... i wish so much... that i could just get over it...
but this feeling of not being good enough... fucking sucks.... any ways i have school
to keep my mind on track.... i need to update this journal i had for so long...
and update on my art work... well ok i need be getting my sorry ass to class...
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|
| thunder storm and Canada lovers |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|10:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
i woke up to the sound of thunder this morning... that i haven't heard for such a long time... when ever a thunder storm comes i'm give my innocents back.... for the fear of the unknown.... any ways it stared to rain... witch made me happy for the fact Utah has been blazing hot for the last week... and plus i just love the rain... love the smell... the feel of cold rain drops on my warm skin.... and the sound it makes... it's like a Symphony... but i still want this to happen for me.. is to kiss at night in the rain.. so if any boyz want too.. holla
speaking of boyz.... i wonder if there's any thing wrong with me.... i mean know ones prefect i get that but what must i do to be noticed.. more then just a funny friend... i can't trip about this to much cuz i need to let love find me.... hope that bitch finds me soon tho hehehe.
but yeah starting on Saturday i'm going on a rode trip to Canada - Calgary... with my homey Ian! and his mom..(plus that fucking dog of there's) HEYYYyyyy.. i'm totally going to party like a crazy man... Ian's the master planer so what i got from him is that we are going to do soooooo much! with in those four days.. like go to a gay restaurant called "Money Pennies Eatery & Bar".. hopefullyy that place is cheep cuz you know us poly's we eat up like a Muthafucka... i remember him saying about a theme park witch i'm totally down for.... cuz who? doesn't like rollercoaster's.... plus i know for a fact Ian's going to shop at this big mall in Calgary like a pro..... any ways now for the night life we are going to some clubs like "The Twisted Element" witch is the HOTTEST gay nightspot! wednesdays are Get wet... witch sound fun but i'm like a black Grrrl when it comes to my hair and clothes i don't want to get that shit wet niggah, thursdays are College nights HEYYyyyy! so i'm totally looking forward to Twisted Element.. ok now Goliath's & the Texas Lounge witch is like a cowboy type of bar witch is something new but there's a little path in the back that go's to a Bath house O_O i know that's so sick... but me and ian want's to check that shit out lol...
any ways i still need to clean my damn apartment.. i'm out |
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| Fairy Tales |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|08:43 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fairy Tales by jojo | ] |
"why must i feel like this..... like nothing, a Nobody, just a whisper in the wind.... Cause I don’t have much to offer But my heart and soul And I guess that’s not enough For you to notice me..... "
( sadness ) |
|
|
| hey |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|03:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | oh i think they like me - Dem Franchise Boyz | ] |
Aloha i'm back and have so much to say... any ways i'm living on my own now and got apartment!! WHHEEEEEeeeee! it's near my school so thats cool (parkway crossing is the name).... any ways lots has change secen i did my last blog..... i became more of a risk taker... and this wild life is on the edge of the world makes me fly like i do have wings....... tho i know not to take the next step and fall off.... any ways school has be sooooooo much fun and i mate many folks on this path...
i got my first kiss... and it was amazing... like i was in world of Purple clouds... where it was only me and him......... his name is mike not the emo boy i wanted but he is just as cute... but yall he is a great kisser ^__^
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|
| where is he |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|03:30 pm] |
i'm still alive ......
just to let u
Know... |
|
|
| far to long |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|09:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thriller by Michael Jackson | ] |
ALOHA to all my LJ buddies sorry i haven't updated in long time i been really really really doing a lot with college and stuff... on that topic i been getting some really good tips on my art work and it show's..... i'm taking a painting class for thee summer it's hell of fun ...i never knew how much i love painting tell now i might upload some of my paintings when i get them back..... so yeah i made some life time friends here in Utah "Note" most of them are gay guys -__- go figura lol
Dustin- is the all American Boy with blond hair,blue eyes, nice slim body.. ever gay man want's him lol it's really funny, plus his older brother throw's some awesome parties with by the way one is coming up this Saturday wheeeeeee!! can't wait
Ian- the other Polynesians in the gang his tonga and a very load month homo lol but his a hell of funny plus very smart :)
Kent- a cali boy who likes anime and manga like me :)
Camme- the mother of the gang she the most sweetie women you'll ever meet she had a hard life so i give her props for smiling ever day :)
Devon- the pretty boy or molde lol tho he is not stuck up or a bitch like other gay Abercrombie & fitch dick heads like i know at the club's here
CLub LiFe
so i go to this gay club here in Utah "Sound" ever friday nights is for the rainbow kids... bunch of homo's looking all GQ for other GQ homo's <3 tho most of the guys there aren't my type... and the music can be lame sometimes tho i just go any way's to kick it with my homey's... i remember when i was on here on saying how much i wanted a man to come and take me away to a world of hope and laughter..... wow was a silly lol i see now that i don't need a prince in my life right now... i have my family & friends to keep me a in zone of love and that's all i need but boy dose it feel good to have friends that feel the same way as you....
( Thriller ) |
|
|
| shamurai champloo 2 |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|11:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | mischievous | ] |
| [ | music |
| | To Zion - Lauryn Hill | ] |
ok after that first episode i had to watch the whole thang.... i'm soooooooooo fucking into this anime you wouldn't believe... i'm going to look on the Ebay if i can get the other series plus i really want to get a poster......
i mean this flick is very hardcore in some ways but i dig the animation so much it made me want to get a job like that even more.... but when my skills get way better that is.... damn i'm so stoked when i get home i'm going to watch it again again and again....
maybe this week i might go to Area 51 fo 80's night holla!!! and drop it like it's hot with my one two steps lol... hummmmm i'm at school right now just killin time cuz i have a freakin class at 1:00 so yeah -__-
i have my ipod and listening to Floetry... i love these gals there music makes me feel all good inside and out O_o weird i know but the really do...
plus India Arie is my all time fav soul singer also her music has meaning... her lyrics takes me to a place where i should look more into the looking glass...
in all i just look up to India Arie...
and yes i'm about to go all drama but i feel like India Arie's song "i'm Ready For Love" and when love comes up most peeps think about sex... well not fo me it's more then that it's like the feeling of spinning really fast and your heart is racing.. i want that.. or just the little things... kissing my lover on his forehead and telling him goodnight.... taking him in my arms and sleeping with paces of mind.... i want the joy and the pain..... when i'm with him time looks upon our freespirit hearts and the days go by slow ... so i can take ever moment and soak it into my soul...
ok sorry about that but like i said need to kille time...... |
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| happy happy joy joy |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
so yeah today is my B-Day how cool is that well i had an ok day not much has happen just same o same o.... i got some nice gifts...
but the one gift i wanted so bad didn't show up ( a BF lol yeah i'm a loser) but naw i need to get me FF8 bad i really want to play that damn game... i need to study also but i'm to lazy.......
so yeah i'm 20...................... |
|
|
| if u only had a heart |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|05:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | need a hot bf to fuck the hell out of me mood | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Frontiers - by My ex is Dead | ] |
wheeeeeeeee
hummmm skool is so super duper fun... theres so much kats here that are really cool...
last week they had club rush : its where you can join many clubs as you want plus get more info on what they bring.....
ohh went to see gay-straight alliance... they had a meeting got to know more peeps some cool guys to and i was being my weird self :P yes yes i know what a dork but hey they seem to enjoy my entertainment....
but yall i'm getting that damn feelings again of being alone forever lol i just want a BF SO fucking bad... i want to feel that passion when two people kiss.. i want to wake up in the moring with my lover beside me.... his smell makes make me feel all good inside....... he hold me and the world is at peace....
i did a poem last night to get all this feeling of Not being wanted....
"A Hole In My Heart"
love, love love LOVE!!!!! i scream for Love
where is it....
maybe it's in the dark corners of my heart and of my mind....
or flying above me in my dreams of lost hope...
the never ending flow of ones loneliness....
Ending you AWAY.. AWAY...away..........away
( DDR ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|04:28 pm] |
so yeah i'm going to this gay club for UVSC this is going to be a new thang... hopefully i don't look like a big dork :P any ways life in Utah has been really different..... been making a lot of friends WHEEEeeee lonely ely is not alone any moe (yes i know a big loser... )
but yeah i have to go it starts at 4:30 and it's like 4:33 :P |
|
|
| what a night |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|11:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | claim office - my ex is dead | ] |
ok just got back from Starry Night my friend K ( witch is the most awesome gal you will ever meet plus she is such a sweet heart she is the only person how really open up to so yeah i found a friendship for a life time) but she needed help at the club cuz there were going to be a lot of folks thurr so i was like a back up plan lol.... they had some hot bands that played. plus one of my fav local bands in Utah "Return to Sender" but after the show i got coffee wheeeeeeee my new addiction lol yeah K got me into it... we talked about a lot of thinks yall i soooooooooooo dig this chick if i wasn't gay i so would want to go out with here... any ways she's promoting a show on the 28th so she needs flyers and that's where i jump in hehehe tomorrow where going to borders to chill and make those kick ass flyers for the show ...
need sleep now............... |
|
|
| Nanny Nanny Boo Boo |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|07:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
bands that i like just wanted to show them off i gest.....
Gravy Train
http://www.rapbitches.com/
there like a rap /Electronica there lyrics are to die for lol naw they mostly talk about gay shit :P fun to dance to as well....
Le Tgire
http://www.letigreworld.com/sweepstakes/index.html
Electronica/rock... omg peoepl this is my all time fav band... i really hope you check out there stuff you'll thank me later... there super duper live ... can't wait to they come back to Utah. song i dig... Deceptacon, My Art, Bang! Bang!, Riot Grrrl....
Yesterdays Rising
http://www.myspace.com/yesterdaysrising
ok they just get me all hype up with there wild sounds...
Killradio
http://www.myspace.com/killradio
ok folks your really really going to like this bands there just something new and fucking awsome... after check them out ever day i had to listen to them on there web site untily i got there album...... plus the Brandon Jordan - Vocals is fucking hot most of the gals think that but my heart gose to Jasten King - Guitar wheeeeeeee!! *dose the i hope i can fuck Jasten when he comes to utah dance* i'm a big slut ... ok not really but it dose seem like fun don't you think???
Chubby Bunny
http://www.myspace.com/chubbybunny
a utah band these gals just put it down fo the clubs lol naw there really cool plus nice to there fun's how sweet..... |
|
|
| be wild freestyle |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|11:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  envious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Boogie That Be by Black Eyed Peas | ] |
ok you all know i'm Mormon.... so i'm learning a bit more about it and..... it's ok but has some ? to it..... but damn i'm in the families ward.. and i see sooooooooooo much str8 love -___- i think it's so sweet some time... but there like nonstop kissing, hugging, and just some other shit that get's to me...(as you can tell i'm J cuz i don't have that... calling all gay or bi guys in Utah PLEASE come and make me feel special.....)
but also today I'll be going to thee Malls in Provo/Orem..... to find job applications there... i think i would want to work at the Orem Mall cuz it would be a lot closer to UVSC so when schools done i just can catch the bus and be there in like 3 minutes... plus Orem got way more HOT folks :P naw jk |
|
|
| $4.99 |
[Jan. 1st, 2005|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
ok so i haven't keep up with my life on LJ .... but let's go way back to the florida trip....
Disney World was the shit... fo sho had sooooooooooooooooooooo much fun plus when i'm there i feel like it's home in some weird way :/... but mostly i want to just work for Disney so bad yall..... wish upon a star...
any ways i went with a friend (meet on myspace) to a new years party down at Provo, it was pretty fun i must say .... ohh and it had sooooooooo much hotties there i just want to jump on one :P yummy.......
ohh yeah i had a job at Pac Sun but it was only seasonal soooooooooo they didn't want my hawaiian ass no more so now i have to find a freakin job before i attend UVSC ... so job hunt i must do... (note: if i can't find a job by then i'll just applied to a on campus job)
any ways lazy tonight |
|
|
| where dreams r made from |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|08:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of two guys going at it ;P | ] |
BAWAWAahahahahahaha i'm going to Disney world tomorrow ... i'm really stoked yall i never thought i'll go back there again after "make a wish"......
any ways totally going to take pic.... i'm fucking happy @__@ can't wait can't wait
pic
( x3 ) |
|
|
| tie or pants with that??? |
[Dec. 11th, 2004|11:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | long way home by Chubby Bunny | ] |
- - - - - - -ok just wanted to know ???- - - - - - - -
- who are you?
- are we friends?
- when and how did we meet?
- do you have a crush on me?
- would you kiss me?
- give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
- describe me in one word?
- what was your first impression?
- do you still think that way about me now?
- what reminds you of me?
- if you could give me anything what would it be?
- how well do you know me?
- when was the last time you saw me?
- ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
- are you going to put this on your lj and see what i say about you?
so yesterday i went to Pac Sun to find out if i got the job ... talked with the manager to see what was up... he went in the back to get some paper work came back and told me you GOT the JOB @__@ ...... . . ....
yall i'm so Stoked it's my first frenkin job lol yes i'm a lame ball ohh well.... had to watch some tapes then filled out paper work... on Sunday i have to go back to do to other things... and find out my work scheduler
so wheeeeeeeeeee for MEEEEEEeeee...
went to this Electronica show at Starry Night ... i have way more fun on Electronica night hehehe dance my ass of MAWAWAHAHAHAhahahah ohh yeah had this hottie was next to me he keep on looking at me (i think cuz how i was dancing but i didn't care cuz like i said i was having fun) but i can of look back at him i wanted to say yeah but my shyness took over i'm so lame... damn i really need a BF so i wont feel so lonely heheh O_x |
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